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[ssrs]

taruchi

　　 　　

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un: poinsettia

[observing]

"lips were esuriently kissing her nubs . “ 𝗺𝗼𝗮𝗻 〜 ”let's find out how much she can 𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗳𝘆 when this succubus is suckling with sprightly impetus !⠀"

so, for that tiktok thing we spoke about. we could act this out.

un: 𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚒

[ssrs]

huh
i understood nothing of that
can u set the scene with a little more detail?

un: poinsettia

[observing]

we'll break it down
first, locate your nubs

FOU MAIL!

[observing]

( cath palug is pushing a box towards itaru, and there's a gift inside. )

24, museum

[dokja]

[From one office worker to another:

Being on your phone is not a crime.

Dokja was similarly lazing on his, reading through Prisma's selection of webnovels for anything half as interesting as Ways of Survival (no dice today), and with Itaru just beside him doing something he shouldn't be... Well. Employment is employment no matter where you go, and as punishment they've been sent walking to make sure no one touches the tapestries and stone panels on the wall, because apparently there's been some rascals trying to get their hands on them for this and that reason.

He misses his smartphone so much. It, as well as Itaru's, is being held captive until they finish their shift here, and he misses it so, so much. He feels naked without it. Sooyoung would laugh at him if she saw him now, but he'd be able to accuse her of reacting the same way, so pot and kettle.

Anyway, the panel voices of this particular thing is asking for jokes and whatnot to celebrate the monkeys' marriage, and Dokja can only think of the Great Sage seeing them.]

It's not enough to just congratulate them? Most couples would be happy enough with that.

[why...... comedy. he isn't a funny person.]

[ssrs]

[ if dokja feels naked without his phone, what does that make itaru? should he say he feels skinned alive? the event isn't gonna grind itself -- and since he's been forced to essentially start over and play the lunatia equivalents of mobages, his accounts aren't anywhere near where he'd like them to be. he needs more cards, and stronger teams, and more ap recovery items --

... but they took his phone, so what can you do?

his feet drag, as he follows dokja down the hallways. they're supposedly on guard duty, but what could itaru do, if someone really wanted to touch that tapestry... ? honestly, they should've appointed someone more athletic for that kind of a thing? ]

Huh. [ he's brought back to earth by dokja's voice, and promptly glances over to the monkeys. some odd, lunatian custom, probably, but it still makes him scoff. ] I can't just pull any jokes out of my ass, so they should be grateful I even bother congratulating them at all --

[ did one just chuck a banana at him? cause a banana just totally hit his face. one's totally flying at dokja, too, since they just assume he's an accomplice. ]

Hey! Behave!

[dokja]

[Oh my god, you've made him an accomplice. He does not deserve a banana being thrown at him. Not right now anyway, there's definitely been plenty of times he did deserve it, so maybe this is belated karma.]

Do you expect them to listen to you? They're monkeys.

[Nevermind the fact they're like, inanimate? Non-living? Art? Dokja'll incline his head ever so slightly, though as a salaryman he really should be doing it lower.]

Congratulations on a long and happy life together.

[... Yeah that's not what they want, there's more bananas being tossed at the two of 'em.]

action;

[innkeeps]

[ cut out the context; it doesn't matter. what matters is that on this day, the most cursed day on this calendar year, Itaru will get a knock on his door from a 30-something with unironic tiger ears, wearing nothing but a pair of pants and an apron to cover his shirtless titties in late winter.

either this fool is completely insane or... well. completely insane. there's no defending this, not even when his dumb smug grin wipes off his face and he's hit with the shocked sheepishness of an infant caught drinking out of the goldfish tank. ]

Ah.

[ he says, with his naked-ass nipples standing tall in the cold. this was such a bad idea. ] Uh.

Sorry, wrong door.





[ jesus christ. ]

[ssrs]

[ well, this is awkward. some context for this would be nice, itaru thinks - not even necessarily because of the frozen titties, but because he'd paused his game to get up and open the door... at least bardo's lucky it's not his guerilla-trained roommate, who could find these razor-sharp nips a genuine threat.

anyway, he just stands there awkwardly for a moment, mouth open in an attempt to find the right words. ]

... uh. [ good start. ] Do you need to... borrow a shirt?

un: lily

[observing]

excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!
i have a problem
only YOU can fix my problem

un: 𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚒

[ssrs]

problem solving machine 🅱️roke

text | un: yjh

[regression]

What do you play?

un: 𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚒

[ssrs]

[ ah. ]

pmuch only one game to play competitively here so far
its called lmao
its like
a vr mmo

text

[coasts]

hey
im shopping
which looks better
this one or this

[ He, of course, just takes a photo of the two jackets while they're being hung and not... trying them on yet or anything. ]

[ssrs]

[ well... he's happy samatoki's finally shopping for something else than hawaiian shirts? still, though, it's kind of hard to make a proper judgement without seeing them IN the jackets. ]

i like the second one better i think
but id rather have u try them on first
cant make a proper judgement w/o that u kno

I'M HERE...... i'm here

[condolences]

[ marianne is, surprisingly, no stranger to house calls. things get messy while fighting a war and being that majority of the golden deer are generally Not Very Good at taking care of themselves, it's fallen to marianne to follow up afterwards. so, it's with less nervousness when she knocks on itaru's door, holding a bag of assorted snacks she'd taken from hilda's stash. technically, it's lorenz's stash because everyone's just been living on his couch apparently, but. details.

anyway, it's still the first time she's meeting itaru in person, so maybe she should say something just in case. what if his guerilla-trained roommate answers the door instead? ]

Itaru? Um... it's Marianne.

BABY...BABY GIRL

[ssrs]

[ well, this isn't a war, but he certainly does look like he's been through the wringer. it's been a few days since That Incident, and though iris healing has been taking care of his injuries rather well, it's... still not ideal. so when he meets a girl who claims to be able to heal whatever leftover wounds he's still got, he quickly takes her up on the offer.

luckily(?) for marianne, riou's not home; it's just itaru, opening the door with a small smile, shoulders slumped. ]

Hey. Thanks for coming over. I'd go to you, but -- [ well, you know. everything hurty. he steps to the side, to let her in, then closes the door and limps to the couch, glancing at the snack bag.

giv... ]

un: yoohyun | birth

[hynobius]

Are you allergic to anything?

[ssrs]

you?

[ get it... coz he almost DIED ]

when he lived under thebed

[observing]

( peaCeful, calm and comfortable. the three c's when living under someone's bed without any worries at all, or any obligations. this is freedom! this is what he's been searching for, and he's finally found the place of eternal happiness! there's not too much dust under here, so none of his allergies seem to act up — funny, he doesn't even have any. no pesky dust bunnies, no tattered papers or any debris that could be counted as a mess in his place of residence. all there is: a blanket, some boba, and his matching console that he shares with his roommate that's bunking on top of the bed.

this is sweet, sweet bliss. it doesn't get any better than that as he slides his plastic cup closer, lips forming around the straw as he sucks down the sweet of his beverage. his other hand is busy tapping away at the b key, speeding up the dialogue of the spokesperson during the start — but this time:

good morning, everyone! now for today's announcements...
we have a new friend on our island! let's give a big THICCavalon welcome to moose!

huh? what? aye? what?

what this mean MOOSE? moose? huh? what? there's some unrest here, so first merlin attempts to ignore it, but curiosity kills the cat by interrogating the new... islander. knuckles knock against the underside of the bed — )

Your island name, how do you spell it again?

COCKroach

[ssrs]

[ okay, so let merlin crash here for a while, big deal. apparently the man is hiding from some stalker who's obsessed with him, or something? itaru overheard one of their conversations once and that was enough to pity merlin enough to let him in... plus, he's got an ac buddy he can play with on local communication, and thanks to that, they sure did make good use of the duplicate glitch when it was still up.

thank you, nintendo prismatica.

anyway, itaru just recently succeeded at kicking out this ugly jock mouse from his sacred island, and then purposefully invited merlin over under the pretense of giving him some flowers and letting him shop at his ables. perfectly innocent, right? but... his intentions... were not that pure................. ]

Hm? [ he feels the knock under his back, blinking a few times. ] Oh. It's Harugumi. H-a-r-u-g-u-m-i.

[ he pauses, after that, curious. did his plan succeed? ]

Why?

[superultra]

[ has it been long enough to text him and have it not be awkward? like a month or something?? idk time. ]

just passed your rank lol

[ on bootleg idolm@ster, he means. ]

[ssrs]

[ if banri took a month to text him, itaru would go there and kick his ass? ]

ughhhhhhhhhhhhh
getting u a phone was a mistake
hold on

[ gonna go pass him, brb ]

6/1

[hynobius]

LONELY? ANTISOCIAL? WATCHING MILD EROTICA ALL BY YOURSELF? LOCAL MOONBLESSED ARE WAITING FOR YOU! SIGN UP AT:

💖www.moondate.net💖

"I knew that we were meant to be by the taste of their slick. Now we're living together and I've only thought of getting a divorce once!"

SQUIRT YOUR WAY TO YOUR FATED PAIR TODAY!

[ssrs]

lol
u shouldnt click on sus links, yknow
its likely ur gonna get ur phone infected w/ some weird shit
hope u at least squirted ur way 2 someone before u got the virus tho