[ His initial thought is if it's even worth talking about? Itaru, a stranger of his world, wouldn't understand the sheer hatred he had for the twinkling lights in the sky. To this day, he still hates them. But... If there's no use telling Itaru, is there any use keeping it to himself? A familiar and annoying voice rings in his head: "don't think you can do everything alone." Exhaling, he takes a moment to collect himself. ]
... In my world, the Constellations are the fables we've been told. [ A pause, finding it ridiculous that he's doing this. A "none of your business" should have sufficed. ] Angels of Eden, gods of Olympus and Asgard, figures from Journey to the West, and more. They've ascended to be the very stars in our night's sky, always watching over the galaxy as a way to slake their boredom.
[ Though his tone is very much the same, never rising or dropping, each word seeps with pure disdain. There's another shade, something under all of that heaved contempt. It's agony. All of these intense emotions make a good recipe for vengeance to last him thousands of years. ]
For entertainment, they called for people to kill each other to survive and pushed worlds into ruin. To them, we're just puppets to feed them an interesting story.
[ And Joonghyuk doesn't think he needs to say that he was tangled in the whole mess. The implications point out he's one of the many victims. His fingers curl into fists on his lap as he glares at the fake stars above them. His frown deepens alongside his dark expression, recounting the scenarios and how Constellations influenced the system. They were always at a disadvantage no matter how strong they became. They climbed and climbed only to fall.
Closing his eyes, he tries to brush those bad thoughts away. Itaru asked a simple question, so he should give him a simple answer. ]
A starless sky, the permanent death of all those onlookers... [ Joonghyuk turns to him with a fierce look. ] It's a sign of liberation.
[ They would be free. As he ends his answers, he's reminded again that Itaru wouldn't understand. To him, Joonghyuk must sound like a madman cursing the stars, but he wonders if maybe his short story would benefit Itaru in some way. While he's not sure how it would, it comforts him. ]
[ he's genuinely surprised to hear joonghyuk talk; he knows he probably wouldn't, but -- well. his story's just boring and depressing, anyway, and not worth wasting time with. he's been here long enough to know that parallel worlds exist, and that they're much different from his own; more interesting, with things he previously thought impossible made true.
with that power usually comes carnage, though. abuse of it, ending with tragedy; if different worlds are real, that means the stories he's sometimes been so moved by might be real, too. he doesn't question joonghyuk's words, nor does he find them particularly weird or outlandish -- in that regard, at least, his mind remains open. and so, he listens; he doesn't interrupt, but instead observes and notes the slight changes in joonghyuk's voice and expression. it's obviously an emotional subject -- itaru can understand why.
he doesn't want to pry, but it's easy enough to assume joonghyuk was a victim of some higher power's whim. and while itaru can't exactly relate, he at least understands the powerlessness; pathetic in comparison, he couldn't even win a battle against himself, much less some sort of a fickle deity. ]
Do you think they're here, too? [ he asks, after a moment, glancing at joonghyuk, and then back to the stars. they twinkle uselessly, all in their pixel glory, and he reaches out towards the sky, palm splayed on the background of the night. ] You are free, as long as you don't go back. ... do you want to?
[ well, from what joonghyuk told him, he doubts it. ]
I'm not saying life here is super easy -- shit happens all the time, but... I don't think it's nearly as bad as you've had it before. Dunno if that's very comforting, but the chance to start anew... well, it's nice.
[ While there aren't any from his world, there are still forces about... New enemy: whatever or whoever is tying them to the three moons. Joonghyuk may plot to destroy the moons themselves in the future! But that doesn't concern Itaru, fortunately.
The emotional wounds are merely scars of the past now, considering his world doesn't suffer under the < Star Stream >'s will any longer. Yet the scenes still play vividly in his mind every time he closes his eyes. As if reaffirming all his lives, he closes them shut again and the memories replay. ]
I don't need comfort or pity. [ There's calm in his voice again like the flames never existed. When the question about staying here comes, Joonghyuk doesn't need to think twice.] ... There's someone I still need to save.
[ That one idiot who understands him the most, alone somewhere in their universe. How could he abandon him? The people he loves are also there. How could he leave them? In the end, no matter how relatively peaceful and far away from his problems this place is, he knows he can't stay. For other people, this place may be better than anything they could ever have—he watches Itaru with curiosity. Maybe he can learn to understand him if only a little bit. ]
[ destroy the moons... i hate joonghyuk is an enemy of abo...
well, those are the lengths itaru can't afford to follow joonghyuk to. he can still listen to him, though; he's good at that, at least. ]
It's not pity. [ there's a difference between compassion and pity, he thinks. though, if he were to explain it, he'd probably lack the right words. it's not unlike joonghyuk to turn down comfort -- but it's not like itaru to give it in the first place, and it's not as if he thinks his words have particularly reached the other, anyway.
he glances at his hands, then back at joonghyuk, thoughtful. ]
Me? ... nah. My life's just recently begun, so I've got nothing to start anew. [ it's not as if he didn't exist before mankai, but... well, he might as well not have. with depression and extreme isolation came irrelevance -- he didn't matter to anybody and nobody mattered to him.
... he'd just lost the family he'd found. does he want to stay? this world offers him things he'd never thought he could see and do -- but it's all at a price. in the end, he misses his troupe, his friends, even his demon of a sister, really -- though admittedly, he's got less reasons to go back than joonghyuk does. ]
I've got nobody to save, but the people who saved me are still back home.
[ would he go back, given the chance? at this point in time, yeah, probably. ]
[ So there shouldn't be a comparison at all. His character's iris rings glow brightly in the dark, pinned on Itaru's avatar the whole time. It shows that all of Joonghyuk's attention is on him, even if he finds his life to be insignificant compared to others. He's reading the shortest lines of Itaru's story, letting the orated words guide him on blank pages. In this moment, he mattered to at least one person. ]
What you have is enough.
[ While he doesn't say it, Itaru's reason resonates with him. He may have said he needs to save someone, but the people who saved him are back at home, too. Something swells in his chest—longing. He misses them... Though he shouldn't miss them for long. With all his heart, he knows he'll return. It only ever takes time.
They're waiting for him and Itaru's loved ones must be waiting for him as well. ]
[ maybe it's better that joonghyuk picked this avatar. he doesn't think he could keep his composure under his usual, intense stare, in a moment of strange vulnerability. but this is just pixels, or... well, the pixels don't always represent what he looks like outside of this world at all, so if he gets a little nervous, who can tell?
the truth is, displaying any sort of deeper emotion generally makes him pull back. but this is a game, and there's nowhere to run -- he takes a deep breath, and opens his mouth: ]
... thanks. I -- [ and in that moment, the afk party members return, waving them over and back to the campsite.
he glances at joonghyuk, and offers him a small smile, getting up and returning to the other players. ]
We aren't that far from the boss. A few more mob spawns and it should appear -- make sure you've got everything ready and let's finish this.
[ Joonghyuk's gaze flickers to their party members. It looks like they're ready to go especially after the mention of how close they are to the end. His expression doesn't change, but he's also glad the dungeon is almost over. Then he can go do other things... Read the main story, maybe talk to more NPCs. There's also cleaning he has to do around the complex outside of the game. Train? Jog.
Picking himself up onto his feet, he shows that he's ready and returns to the rest of the party. Their tank perks up, saying that they'll keep their advice in mind for the next pulls. It all goes rather well—a lot smoother than the first part of their trek. The boss comes down pretty swiftly as expected of the first dungeon in the game, too. The loot? Lackluster...
Except for this rather rare minion. It's more of a collectible and doesn't at all impact gameplay, but Joonghyuk instantly chooses to need on it instead of passing. He's a greedy player. ]
[ it's the first dungeon, so it's not as if itaru expects any trouble. the mechanics are basically nonexistent, the boss has low hp, low atk and low def, and it's pretty much just a quick introduction to group-play and the dungeon system as a whole. regardless, he's glad it went by without a hitch; when they finally down the boss, he glances towards joonghyuk, then the loot.
low level equipment and a minion he already farmed because he's a completionist. he passes on everything and waits for the results -- joonghyuk gets the minion, the other players evidently more interested in the equipment than things that don't impact progression, and a gate to the outside appears. ]
[ Since he isn't a gpose type of player, there will be no casual stroll through the dungeon now that it's done. He's had enough of the scenery when they rested, so he's good to go. Despite the answer, he doesn't teleport right away. His avatar lingers by the portal, then turns to look at Itaru like he has something to say. While they both haven't spoken about that moment earlier, he hasn't forgotten. Home has been on his mind for a while. ]
I have other stuff to do.
[ Out of consideration, he decides not to broach now—sometimes, distance is healthy. It lets wounds heal. So this is the end of their gaming session. ]
[ it's best to end it here -- it rids them of the awkwardness of dealing with the earlier conversation, and itaru nods, when joonghyuk announces he's got other things to do. they didn't accomplish much, but it was something -- he waves him goodbye, and waits for him to leave first, following soon after.
to be honest, he's been trying to avoid thinking about home. it makes something inside of his chest ache -- he'd rather not spend his days sulking about being unable to see his loved ones. still, it's something to consider; who knows when they'll be given the chance to go back? a decision has to be made before that, right?
once out of the game, he takes off the headset and grabs his phone, opening up their earlier conversation: ]
tyfp man if ur interested in checking out the pvp, lmk
[ he doesn't expect a reply, but it's going to be there for joonghyuk to think about, at least. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
... In my world, the Constellations are the fables we've been told. [ A pause, finding it ridiculous that he's doing this. A "none of your business" should have sufficed. ] Angels of Eden, gods of Olympus and Asgard, figures from Journey to the West, and more. They've ascended to be the very stars in our night's sky, always watching over the galaxy as a way to slake their boredom.
[ Though his tone is very much the same, never rising or dropping, each word seeps with pure disdain. There's another shade, something under all of that heaved contempt. It's agony. All of these intense emotions make a good recipe for vengeance to last him thousands of years. ]
For entertainment, they called for people to kill each other to survive and pushed worlds into ruin. To them, we're just puppets to feed them an interesting story.
[ And Joonghyuk doesn't think he needs to say that he was tangled in the whole mess. The implications point out he's one of the many victims. His fingers curl into fists on his lap as he glares at the fake stars above them. His frown deepens alongside his dark expression, recounting the scenarios and how Constellations influenced the system. They were always at a disadvantage no matter how strong they became. They climbed and climbed only to fall.
Closing his eyes, he tries to brush those bad thoughts away. Itaru asked a simple question, so he should give him a simple answer. ]
A starless sky, the permanent death of all those onlookers... [ Joonghyuk turns to him with a fierce look. ] It's a sign of liberation.
[ They would be free. As he ends his answers, he's reminded again that Itaru wouldn't understand. To him, Joonghyuk must sound like a madman cursing the stars, but he wonders if maybe his short story would benefit Itaru in some way. While he's not sure how it would, it comforts him. ]
no subject
with that power usually comes carnage, though. abuse of it, ending with tragedy; if different worlds are real, that means the stories he's sometimes been so moved by might be real, too. he doesn't question joonghyuk's words, nor does he find them particularly weird or outlandish -- in that regard, at least, his mind remains open. and so, he listens; he doesn't interrupt, but instead observes and notes the slight changes in joonghyuk's voice and expression. it's obviously an emotional subject -- itaru can understand why.
he doesn't want to pry, but it's easy enough to assume joonghyuk was a victim of some higher power's whim. and while itaru can't exactly relate, he at least understands the powerlessness; pathetic in comparison, he couldn't even win a battle against himself, much less some sort of a fickle deity. ]
Do you think they're here, too? [ he asks, after a moment, glancing at joonghyuk, and then back to the stars. they twinkle uselessly, all in their pixel glory, and he reaches out towards the sky, palm splayed on the background of the night. ] You are free, as long as you don't go back. ... do you want to?
[ well, from what joonghyuk told him, he doubts it. ]
I'm not saying life here is super easy -- shit happens all the time, but... I don't think it's nearly as bad as you've had it before. Dunno if that's very comforting, but the chance to start anew... well, it's nice.
no subject
The emotional wounds are merely scars of the past now, considering his world doesn't suffer under the < Star Stream >'s will any longer. Yet the scenes still play vividly in his mind every time he closes his eyes. As if reaffirming all his lives, he closes them shut again and the memories replay. ]
I don't need comfort or pity. [ There's calm in his voice again like the flames never existed. When the question about staying here comes, Joonghyuk doesn't need to think twice.] ... There's someone I still need to save.
[ That one idiot who understands him the most, alone somewhere in their universe. How could he abandon him? The people he loves are also there. How could he leave them? In the end, no matter how relatively peaceful and far away from his problems this place is, he knows he can't stay. For other people, this place may be better than anything they could ever have—he watches Itaru with curiosity. Maybe he can learn to understand him if only a little bit. ]
Is that what you're doing? Starting anew.
[ Does that mean Itaru wishes to stay? ]
no subject
well, those are the lengths itaru can't afford to follow joonghyuk to. he can still listen to him, though; he's good at that, at least. ]
It's not pity. [ there's a difference between compassion and pity, he thinks. though, if he were to explain it, he'd probably lack the right words. it's not unlike joonghyuk to turn down comfort -- but it's not like itaru to give it in the first place, and it's not as if he thinks his words have particularly reached the other, anyway.
he glances at his hands, then back at joonghyuk, thoughtful. ]
Me? ... nah. My life's just recently begun, so I've got nothing to start anew. [ it's not as if he didn't exist before mankai, but... well, he might as well not have. with depression and extreme isolation came irrelevance -- he didn't matter to anybody and nobody mattered to him.
... he'd just lost the family he'd found. does he want to stay? this world offers him things he'd never thought he could see and do -- but it's all at a price. in the end, he misses his troupe, his friends, even his demon of a sister, really -- though admittedly, he's got less reasons to go back than joonghyuk does. ]
I've got nobody to save, but the people who saved me are still back home.
[ would he go back, given the chance? at this point in time, yeah, probably. ]
no subject
[ So there shouldn't be a comparison at all. His character's iris rings glow brightly in the dark, pinned on Itaru's avatar the whole time. It shows that all of Joonghyuk's attention is on him, even if he finds his life to be insignificant compared to others. He's reading the shortest lines of Itaru's story, letting the orated words guide him on blank pages. In this moment, he mattered to at least one person. ]
What you have is enough.
[ While he doesn't say it, Itaru's reason resonates with him. He may have said he needs to save someone, but the people who saved him are back at home, too. Something swells in his chest—longing. He misses them... Though he shouldn't miss them for long. With all his heart, he knows he'll return. It only ever takes time.
They're waiting for him and Itaru's loved ones must be waiting for him as well. ]
no subject
the truth is, displaying any sort of deeper emotion generally makes him pull back. but this is a game, and there's nowhere to run -- he takes a deep breath, and opens his mouth: ]
... thanks. I -- [ and in that moment, the afk party members return, waving them over and back to the campsite.
he glances at joonghyuk, and offers him a small smile, getting up and returning to the other players. ]
We aren't that far from the boss. A few more mob spawns and it should appear -- make sure you've got everything ready and let's finish this.
no subject
Picking himself up onto his feet, he shows that he's ready and returns to the rest of the party. Their tank perks up, saying that they'll keep their advice in mind for the next pulls. It all goes rather well—a lot smoother than the first part of their trek. The boss comes down pretty swiftly as expected of the first dungeon in the game, too. The loot? Lackluster...
Except for this rather rare minion. It's more of a collectible and doesn't at all impact gameplay, but Joonghyuk instantly chooses to need on it instead of passing. He's a greedy player. ]
no subject
low level equipment and a minion he already farmed because he's a completionist. he passes on everything and waits for the results -- joonghyuk gets the minion, the other players evidently more interested in the equipment than things that don't impact progression, and a gate to the outside appears. ]
Ready to go? [ he asks, to make sure.
who knows... maybe yjh wants to sightsee... ]
no subject
[ Since he isn't a gpose type of player, there will be no casual stroll through the dungeon now that it's done. He's had enough of the scenery when they rested, so he's good to go. Despite the answer, he doesn't teleport right away. His avatar lingers by the portal, then turns to look at Itaru like he has something to say. While they both haven't spoken about that moment earlier, he hasn't forgotten. Home has been on his mind for a while. ]
I have other stuff to do.
[ Out of consideration, he decides not to broach now—sometimes, distance is healthy. It lets wounds heal. So this is the end of their gaming session. ]
no subject
to be honest, he's been trying to avoid thinking about home. it makes something inside of his chest ache -- he'd rather not spend his days sulking about being unable to see his loved ones. still, it's something to consider; who knows when they'll be given the chance to go back? a decision has to be made before that, right?
once out of the game, he takes off the headset and grabs his phone, opening up their earlier conversation: ]
tyfp man
if ur interested in checking out the pvp, lmk
[ he doesn't expect a reply, but it's going to be there for joonghyuk to think about, at least. ]