[ and he signs on, too, waiting for joonghyuk's add. once it comes through, he accepts -- and now he can send joonghyuk messages directly in the game, and spam him with cute stickers....... ]
ill meet u in the main square dont wander off
[ not that he can, since the starting quests are all around the place, and only let you leave once you've gotten your armor and weapon and all that. itaru uses a teleporting item, and then waits for joonghyuk next to the a*theryte, his avatar not that different from what he looks like irl. ]
[ Itaru is telling him what to do? But he isn't going to listen. He wanders around collecting the small a*therytes so that he can easily teleport to each section of the city. It takes him a bit, but he has been on before Itaru asked him.
When he teleports back to the main plaza, he walks up to Itaru's avatar and targets him (he's looking through his gear and search info). Yes, Joonghyuk is a small dragon girl in this new realm because he wants to avoid people in real life instantly recognizing him. Sometimes you just want to game in peace? He'll consider a professional PvP account in the future.
Though they've met, he hasn't written anything into chat. He's waiting... For something. ]
Is that what you're into? [ comes a private message, as he continues to snicker irl. look, they've all been there... playing girl characters to oogle them, or scam stupid dudes, but in itaru's case, that was back in like, runescape times? damn, joonghyuk must be a late bloomer...
or maybe he's just a dragonfucker. itaru considers both options and decides that both are equally funny.
as for his gear, it's up to date with the latest raids -- his class appears to be something akin to an assassin, with sleek daggers hoisted to his side, and a light, comfortable armor. ]
[ Joonghyuk has no history with either ogling female avatars or scamming gamer dudes, but then again he doesn't have a background in the first place. Crossing his arms, he still emanates a similar aura despite being several centimeters shorter. He's still him and Itaru is still Itaru. ]
I don't want anyone to easily recognize me.
[ Unfortunately, he has a boring and practical reason for picking this race and gender, but Itaru is free to concoct as many theories as he wants. As long as he doesn't accuse Joonghyuk of any of them, he is safe creating fantasies. The only real preference he has put into his character is dark scales because he detests white.
Looks like he started off as a healer based on the cane on his back, though. Don't worry. He'll level all the jobs. ]
Embarrassed? How many people do you know here, anyway?
[ like, less than 10??? which kinda makes this excuse void and null... so itaru just figures joonghyuk really wants to oogle his avatar while he plays. which, you know, you do you, he supposes. ]
Well, whatever. Just look normal for tournaments. [ if he joins in, at least. that said, itaru gives him a quick, cursory glance, noting the job he'd picked. ] What do you usually main? You don't look like a healer type to me.
[ or maybe the kind of healer who loves to let you die if you fuck up... evil. ]
I can level something I haven't touched yet with you. Hmm... maybe a magic class...
[ It isn't about how many, but the sheer intensity of how burdensome or obnoxious they are (even if he technically likes them). For example, Itaru is annoying, but he is tolerable. Kim Dokja is similar, if not even more annoying, but Joonghyuk wants a safe space away from that man. This is his space now—being... A small dragon girl. ]
I flex. [ So he plays all roles, whatever is necessary. Despite seeming like a big loner, he is a team player? Or prefers team-oriented games. ] But I prefer physical jobs over casters.
[ He really is the healer that will let you die if you fuck up unless he likes you enough or he doesn't want to start the fight over. While Itaru decides to switch around jobs, he will invite him into a party. ]
[ that makes it sound like joonghyuk doesn't find itaru annoying, since he'd given up his super-secret identity, and all... anyway, itaru doesn't believe any of this. he definitely just wants to touch his pixel titties. ]
Ah, kay.
[ the question of why'd he pick a healer comes up, then, but in the other hand, itaru doesn't care. joonghyuk can play whatever he wants, and most people level all jobs eventually, anyway.
he accepts the party invite, then switches classes; it's a low-level, magic class, that depends on rune-based spells to summon various familiars to fight for them in battle. when you think about it, it's a perfect class for itaru... except, contrary to his irl personality, in games, he prefers to be melee, too. lead the charge, and all. feel like a pr*tagonist. ew.
other classes can be fun, too, though. maybe for him, it'd be safer to play something magic-based... considering he doesn't want another rib broken. though according to joonghyuk, he does. ]
[ If he wants to touch them then he can ask, but real tits are better. ]
I was reading it earlier. [ Not hardcore or min-max enough not to skip quests, it seems like. ] It's a slow start.
[ Itaru made a good choice in not asking him why healer. It should be obvious and it will be once he starts a queue for them. It's the first dungeon, which should be easy enough and they get a pop almost instantly. Yes, this is the healer/tank queue time, the best queue time. Most usually have the jitters with a new game, but Joonghyuk is rather relaxed, instead focusing on the aspect of a story.
This is this game's protagonist's story, after all. Because of them, they're able to experience things they wouldn't before, or at least in different flavors. ]
[ wtf he doesn't wanna touch them, he didn't make a female avatar so he's not joonghyuk-kind of a pervert ]
Yeah. Then again, most MMOs are. [ at least it's not as slow as ARR... but to get things rolling, you do have to get through a fair amount of text and running around.
well, fast queues are nice, at least. he usually rolls dps, so waiting is nothing new -- but since this one pops instantly, he summons his initial summon, which is some odd, flaming animal hybrid, and presses commence. the first dungeon takes them across a crystal shore, not unlike the one in level 1; it's rather simple, with a few mobs already visible from distance, and he glances over to the two people who happened to get queued along with them.
naturally, though, since it's a VR experience, it takes a longer time than it would in a normal kind of a game. they might need to camp to restore stamina, at some point. he's got a supply of potions, food and everything else, but he doubts any of his companions do, too, judging by their general appearance.
[ Yes, unfortunately, Itaru is the adult in this group of sprouts. Joonghyuk keeps his composure as they go through the first couple of mobs, though the tank is a little anxious with the first pulls. Everyone gets tank anxiety! No worries. It seems that Joonghyuk prioritizes casting attack spells over healing, but he always heals in time and focuses on it when necessary.
Still, the tank and the other baby DPS are sweating. Eventually, they reach the checkpoint for them all to rest. Joonghyuk needed mana back, anyway. It's time for a virtual campfire hangout—what comes up first is how fun the game is and then the tank asks if they're doing all right. ]
You are doing well, but you need to work on your positioning. [ Because sometimes the mob would be facing them? If bad habits can be corrected now, then might as well. The tank nods, then proceeds to ask if there's more to work on. ] Taruchi is a veteran, so ask him for advice.
[ Instantly, Joonghyuk deflects responsibility. He is baby healer! The attention of both strangers draw to him, eyes beaming as they look at his info and bask in the light of a veteran player?! How cool? He even has pots and food? Maybe they should have prepared, too. They continue to coo over Itaru as Joonghyuk merely sits there, gazing at the fake stars above them. ]
[ he's not surprised joonghyuk adapts a more aggressive playstyle -- it's a low level dungeon, so it's not as if the mobs hit for a lot, though, so it's fine. itaru watches his pet attack the monsters, and casts spells from the backline, standing at a comfortable distance. it's a little slow, but not too bad... his problem with casters is that they're rather immobile, and he already is that irl.
he doesn't need to be a limp noodle in game, too.
anyway, way to shift responsibility... itaru doesn't mind helping, though; talking to people is easier in game than it is in real life. in game, he is a cool h*ro -- so he gives the tank some pointers, reminds him to turn the mobs and the boss around when he grabs hate, and shares some of the food with them, for that exp bonus. he turns to joonghyuk, then, watching him for a moment. ]
It's pretty good, huh? The view. Realistic. [ everything around them seems just like it's real, except maybe even better. reality in full hd... with some effects you can't find outside of the game, either. when he grabs a bit of the crystal sand beneath his feet, he can feel its' texture against his hand; he can see it slip between his fingers, falling back down, each, individual granule shaded and saturated.
it's almost dangerous, especially for people like him. thankfully, he doesn't have a problem.
[ Joonghyuk may be staring at the stars, but he does catch the conversation. There's a shift in how Itaru talks online, but he understands that people can recreate themselves on the internet. Then sometimes, it isn't about recreating, but feeling free enough to be your true self. He doesn't think either things are bad.
Their surroundings, however, are the opposite. Even their avatars are mere fabrications, illusions of their mind, and Joonghyuk can feel the disconnect even more. It isn't bad, though. It's less taxing than what he's used to... He isn't in quite the mood to talk with strangers around, so he keeps quiet for now as he looks for constellations. Fortunately for them, the other two notify that they'll afk for a bit and come back. That's when Joonghyuk continues their conversation. ]
The rendering is high quality. [ But does he prefer it? ] The real world can be this beautiful, too.
[ The night sky at home used to look like this, right? His world used to have stars that comforted them at night. What he feels is the comfort robbed from him for so many years. A tinge of regret manifests in his voice: ]
[ he's just a shut-in, after all; he's never had the chance to explore much of the world, nor did he ever feel an inclination to try. rather, he's always been interested in things he can't reach or obtain; worlds he can't ever visit, aside from the times his eyes are glued to the screen. there's nothing wrong with that, he thinks, but it's a half-life.
only joining mankai had shown him that there's some benefit to opening up to other people, too - but it's a recent endeavor, and he's still hesitant. there's still a degree of disconnect between his words and his actions -- he wants to reach out, but at the end of the day, he's nothing more but a coward. ]
... why? [ starless skies are a norm, in big cities. something tells him joonghyuk doesn't mean that, though.
he glances towards the afk players, then back to the other, genuinely curious. ]
[ His initial thought is if it's even worth talking about? Itaru, a stranger of his world, wouldn't understand the sheer hatred he had for the twinkling lights in the sky. To this day, he still hates them. But... If there's no use telling Itaru, is there any use keeping it to himself? A familiar and annoying voice rings in his head: "don't think you can do everything alone." Exhaling, he takes a moment to collect himself. ]
... In my world, the Constellations are the fables we've been told. [ A pause, finding it ridiculous that he's doing this. A "none of your business" should have sufficed. ] Angels of Eden, gods of Olympus and Asgard, figures from Journey to the West, and more. They've ascended to be the very stars in our night's sky, always watching over the galaxy as a way to slake their boredom.
[ Though his tone is very much the same, never rising or dropping, each word seeps with pure disdain. There's another shade, something under all of that heaved contempt. It's agony. All of these intense emotions make a good recipe for vengeance to last him thousands of years. ]
For entertainment, they called for people to kill each other to survive and pushed worlds into ruin. To them, we're just puppets to feed them an interesting story.
[ And Joonghyuk doesn't think he needs to say that he was tangled in the whole mess. The implications point out he's one of the many victims. His fingers curl into fists on his lap as he glares at the fake stars above them. His frown deepens alongside his dark expression, recounting the scenarios and how Constellations influenced the system. They were always at a disadvantage no matter how strong they became. They climbed and climbed only to fall.
Closing his eyes, he tries to brush those bad thoughts away. Itaru asked a simple question, so he should give him a simple answer. ]
A starless sky, the permanent death of all those onlookers... [ Joonghyuk turns to him with a fierce look. ] It's a sign of liberation.
[ They would be free. As he ends his answers, he's reminded again that Itaru wouldn't understand. To him, Joonghyuk must sound like a madman cursing the stars, but he wonders if maybe his short story would benefit Itaru in some way. While he's not sure how it would, it comforts him. ]
[ he's genuinely surprised to hear joonghyuk talk; he knows he probably wouldn't, but -- well. his story's just boring and depressing, anyway, and not worth wasting time with. he's been here long enough to know that parallel worlds exist, and that they're much different from his own; more interesting, with things he previously thought impossible made true.
with that power usually comes carnage, though. abuse of it, ending with tragedy; if different worlds are real, that means the stories he's sometimes been so moved by might be real, too. he doesn't question joonghyuk's words, nor does he find them particularly weird or outlandish -- in that regard, at least, his mind remains open. and so, he listens; he doesn't interrupt, but instead observes and notes the slight changes in joonghyuk's voice and expression. it's obviously an emotional subject -- itaru can understand why.
he doesn't want to pry, but it's easy enough to assume joonghyuk was a victim of some higher power's whim. and while itaru can't exactly relate, he at least understands the powerlessness; pathetic in comparison, he couldn't even win a battle against himself, much less some sort of a fickle deity. ]
Do you think they're here, too? [ he asks, after a moment, glancing at joonghyuk, and then back to the stars. they twinkle uselessly, all in their pixel glory, and he reaches out towards the sky, palm splayed on the background of the night. ] You are free, as long as you don't go back. ... do you want to?
[ well, from what joonghyuk told him, he doubts it. ]
I'm not saying life here is super easy -- shit happens all the time, but... I don't think it's nearly as bad as you've had it before. Dunno if that's very comforting, but the chance to start anew... well, it's nice.
[ While there aren't any from his world, there are still forces about... New enemy: whatever or whoever is tying them to the three moons. Joonghyuk may plot to destroy the moons themselves in the future! But that doesn't concern Itaru, fortunately.
The emotional wounds are merely scars of the past now, considering his world doesn't suffer under the < Star Stream >'s will any longer. Yet the scenes still play vividly in his mind every time he closes his eyes. As if reaffirming all his lives, he closes them shut again and the memories replay. ]
I don't need comfort or pity. [ There's calm in his voice again like the flames never existed. When the question about staying here comes, Joonghyuk doesn't need to think twice.] ... There's someone I still need to save.
[ That one idiot who understands him the most, alone somewhere in their universe. How could he abandon him? The people he loves are also there. How could he leave them? In the end, no matter how relatively peaceful and far away from his problems this place is, he knows he can't stay. For other people, this place may be better than anything they could ever have—he watches Itaru with curiosity. Maybe he can learn to understand him if only a little bit. ]
[ destroy the moons... i hate joonghyuk is an enemy of abo...
well, those are the lengths itaru can't afford to follow joonghyuk to. he can still listen to him, though; he's good at that, at least. ]
It's not pity. [ there's a difference between compassion and pity, he thinks. though, if he were to explain it, he'd probably lack the right words. it's not unlike joonghyuk to turn down comfort -- but it's not like itaru to give it in the first place, and it's not as if he thinks his words have particularly reached the other, anyway.
he glances at his hands, then back at joonghyuk, thoughtful. ]
Me? ... nah. My life's just recently begun, so I've got nothing to start anew. [ it's not as if he didn't exist before mankai, but... well, he might as well not have. with depression and extreme isolation came irrelevance -- he didn't matter to anybody and nobody mattered to him.
... he'd just lost the family he'd found. does he want to stay? this world offers him things he'd never thought he could see and do -- but it's all at a price. in the end, he misses his troupe, his friends, even his demon of a sister, really -- though admittedly, he's got less reasons to go back than joonghyuk does. ]
I've got nobody to save, but the people who saved me are still back home.
[ would he go back, given the chance? at this point in time, yeah, probably. ]
[ So there shouldn't be a comparison at all. His character's iris rings glow brightly in the dark, pinned on Itaru's avatar the whole time. It shows that all of Joonghyuk's attention is on him, even if he finds his life to be insignificant compared to others. He's reading the shortest lines of Itaru's story, letting the orated words guide him on blank pages. In this moment, he mattered to at least one person. ]
What you have is enough.
[ While he doesn't say it, Itaru's reason resonates with him. He may have said he needs to save someone, but the people who saved him are back at home, too. Something swells in his chest—longing. He misses them... Though he shouldn't miss them for long. With all his heart, he knows he'll return. It only ever takes time.
They're waiting for him and Itaru's loved ones must be waiting for him as well. ]
[ maybe it's better that joonghyuk picked this avatar. he doesn't think he could keep his composure under his usual, intense stare, in a moment of strange vulnerability. but this is just pixels, or... well, the pixels don't always represent what he looks like outside of this world at all, so if he gets a little nervous, who can tell?
the truth is, displaying any sort of deeper emotion generally makes him pull back. but this is a game, and there's nowhere to run -- he takes a deep breath, and opens his mouth: ]
... thanks. I -- [ and in that moment, the afk party members return, waving them over and back to the campsite.
he glances at joonghyuk, and offers him a small smile, getting up and returning to the other players. ]
We aren't that far from the boss. A few more mob spawns and it should appear -- make sure you've got everything ready and let's finish this.
[ Joonghyuk's gaze flickers to their party members. It looks like they're ready to go especially after the mention of how close they are to the end. His expression doesn't change, but he's also glad the dungeon is almost over. Then he can go do other things... Read the main story, maybe talk to more NPCs. There's also cleaning he has to do around the complex outside of the game. Train? Jog.
Picking himself up onto his feet, he shows that he's ready and returns to the rest of the party. Their tank perks up, saying that they'll keep their advice in mind for the next pulls. It all goes rather well—a lot smoother than the first part of their trek. The boss comes down pretty swiftly as expected of the first dungeon in the game, too. The loot? Lackluster...
Except for this rather rare minion. It's more of a collectible and doesn't at all impact gameplay, but Joonghyuk instantly chooses to need on it instead of passing. He's a greedy player. ]
[ it's the first dungeon, so it's not as if itaru expects any trouble. the mechanics are basically nonexistent, the boss has low hp, low atk and low def, and it's pretty much just a quick introduction to group-play and the dungeon system as a whole. regardless, he's glad it went by without a hitch; when they finally down the boss, he glances towards joonghyuk, then the loot.
low level equipment and a minion he already farmed because he's a completionist. he passes on everything and waits for the results -- joonghyuk gets the minion, the other players evidently more interested in the equipment than things that don't impact progression, and a gate to the outside appears. ]
[ Since he isn't a gpose type of player, there will be no casual stroll through the dungeon now that it's done. He's had enough of the scenery when they rested, so he's good to go. Despite the answer, he doesn't teleport right away. His avatar lingers by the portal, then turns to look at Itaru like he has something to say. While they both haven't spoken about that moment earlier, he hasn't forgotten. Home has been on his mind for a while. ]
I have other stuff to do.
[ Out of consideration, he decides not to broach now—sometimes, distance is healthy. It lets wounds heal. So this is the end of their gaming session. ]
[ it's best to end it here -- it rids them of the awkwardness of dealing with the earlier conversation, and itaru nods, when joonghyuk announces he's got other things to do. they didn't accomplish much, but it was something -- he waves him goodbye, and waits for him to leave first, following soon after.
to be honest, he's been trying to avoid thinking about home. it makes something inside of his chest ache -- he'd rather not spend his days sulking about being unable to see his loved ones. still, it's something to consider; who knows when they'll be given the chance to go back? a decision has to be made before that, right?
once out of the game, he takes off the headset and grabs his phone, opening up their earlier conversation: ]
tyfp man if ur interested in checking out the pvp, lmk
[ he doesn't expect a reply, but it's going to be there for joonghyuk to think about, at least. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I'm online.
[ Since he didn't exchange his name, he will add Itaru first. Apparently, his ign is Haneul. ]
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ill talk 2 u in game
[ and he signs on, too, waiting for joonghyuk's add. once it comes through, he accepts -- and now he can send joonghyuk messages directly in the game, and spam him with cute stickers....... ]
ill meet u in the main square
dont wander off
[ not that he can, since the starting quests are all around the place, and only let you leave once you've gotten your armor and weapon and all that. itaru uses a teleporting item, and then waits for joonghyuk next to the a*theryte, his avatar not that different from what he looks like irl. ]
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When he teleports back to the main plaza, he walks up to Itaru's avatar and targets him (he's looking through his gear and search info). Yes, Joonghyuk is a small dragon girl in this new realm because he wants to avoid people in real life instantly recognizing him. Sometimes you just want to game in peace? He'll consider a professional PvP account in the future.
Though they've met, he hasn't written anything into chat. He's waiting... For something. ]
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...
................. ]
Is that what you're into? [ comes a private message, as he continues to snicker irl. look, they've all been there... playing girl characters to oogle them, or scam stupid dudes, but in itaru's case, that was back in like, runescape times? damn, joonghyuk must be a late bloomer...
or maybe he's just a dragonfucker. itaru considers both options and decides that both are equally funny.
as for his gear, it's up to date with the latest raids -- his class appears to be something akin to an assassin, with sleek daggers hoisted to his side, and a light, comfortable armor. ]
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I don't want anyone to easily recognize me.
[ Unfortunately, he has a boring and practical reason for picking this race and gender, but Itaru is free to concoct as many theories as he wants. As long as he doesn't accuse Joonghyuk of any of them, he is safe creating fantasies. The only real preference he has put into his character is dark scales because he detests white.
Looks like he started off as a healer based on the cane on his back, though. Don't worry. He'll level all the jobs. ]
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[ like, less than 10??? which kinda makes this excuse void and null... so itaru just figures joonghyuk really wants to oogle his avatar while he plays. which, you know, you do you, he supposes. ]
Well, whatever. Just look normal for tournaments. [ if he joins in, at least. that said, itaru gives him a quick, cursory glance, noting the job he'd picked. ] What do you usually main? You don't look like a healer type to me.
[ or maybe the kind of healer who loves to let you die if you fuck up... evil. ]
I can level something I haven't touched yet with you. Hmm... maybe a magic class...
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[ It isn't about how many, but the sheer intensity of how burdensome or obnoxious they are (even if he technically likes them). For example, Itaru is annoying, but he is tolerable. Kim Dokja is similar, if not even more annoying, but Joonghyuk wants a safe space away from that man. This is his space now—being... A small dragon girl. ]
I flex. [ So he plays all roles, whatever is necessary. Despite seeming like a big loner, he is a team player? Or prefers team-oriented games. ] But I prefer physical jobs over casters.
[ He really is the healer that will let you die if you fuck up unless he likes you enough or he doesn't want to start the fight over. While Itaru decides to switch around jobs, he will invite him into a party. ]
no subject
Ah, kay.
[ the question of why'd he pick a healer comes up, then, but in the other hand, itaru doesn't care. joonghyuk can play whatever he wants, and most people level all jobs eventually, anyway.
he accepts the party invite, then switches classes; it's a low-level, magic class, that depends on rune-based spells to summon various familiars to fight for them in battle. when you think about it, it's a perfect class for itaru... except, contrary to his irl personality, in games, he prefers to be melee, too. lead the charge, and all. feel like a pr*tagonist. ew.
other classes can be fun, too, though. maybe for him, it'd be safer to play something magic-based... considering he doesn't want another rib broken. though according to joonghyuk, he does. ]
You got the main story quest yet?
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I was reading it earlier. [ Not hardcore or min-max enough not to skip quests, it seems like. ] It's a slow start.
[ Itaru made a good choice in not asking him why healer. It should be obvious and it will be once he starts a queue for them. It's the first dungeon, which should be easy enough and they get a pop almost instantly. Yes, this is the healer/tank queue time, the best queue time. Most usually have the jitters with a new game, but Joonghyuk is rather relaxed, instead focusing on the aspect of a story.
This is this game's protagonist's story, after all. Because of them, they're able to experience things they wouldn't before, or at least in different flavors. ]
But I'm looking forward to it.
[ He commences! ]
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Yeah. Then again, most MMOs are. [ at least it's not as slow as ARR... but to get things rolling, you do have to get through a fair amount of text and running around.
well, fast queues are nice, at least. he usually rolls dps, so waiting is nothing new -- but since this one pops instantly, he summons his initial summon, which is some odd, flaming animal hybrid, and presses commence. the first dungeon takes them across a crystal shore, not unlike the one in level 1; it's rather simple, with a few mobs already visible from distance, and he glances over to the two people who happened to get queued along with them.
naturally, though, since it's a VR experience, it takes a longer time than it would in a normal kind of a game. they might need to camp to restore stamina, at some point. he's got a supply of potions, food and everything else, but he doubts any of his companions do, too, judging by their general appearance.
godspeed, newbies... ]
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Still, the tank and the other baby DPS are sweating. Eventually, they reach the checkpoint for them all to rest. Joonghyuk needed mana back, anyway. It's time for a virtual campfire hangout—what comes up first is how fun the game is and then the tank asks if they're doing all right. ]
You are doing well, but you need to work on your positioning. [ Because sometimes the mob would be facing them? If bad habits can be corrected now, then might as well. The tank nods, then proceeds to ask if there's more to work on. ] Taruchi is a veteran, so ask him for advice.
[ Instantly, Joonghyuk deflects responsibility. He is baby healer! The attention of both strangers draw to him, eyes beaming as they look at his info and bask in the light of a veteran player?! How cool? He even has pots and food? Maybe they should have prepared, too. They continue to coo over Itaru as Joonghyuk merely sits there, gazing at the fake stars above them. ]
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he doesn't need to be a limp noodle in game, too.
anyway, way to shift responsibility... itaru doesn't mind helping, though; talking to people is easier in game than it is in real life. in game, he is a cool h*ro -- so he gives the tank some pointers, reminds him to turn the mobs and the boss around when he grabs hate, and shares some of the food with them, for that exp bonus. he turns to joonghyuk, then, watching him for a moment. ]
It's pretty good, huh? The view. Realistic. [ everything around them seems just like it's real, except maybe even better. reality in full hd... with some effects you can't find outside of the game, either. when he grabs a bit of the crystal sand beneath his feet, he can feel its' texture against his hand; he can see it slip between his fingers, falling back down, each, individual granule shaded and saturated.
it's almost dangerous, especially for people like him. thankfully, he doesn't have a problem.
yet. ]
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Their surroundings, however, are the opposite. Even their avatars are mere fabrications, illusions of their mind, and Joonghyuk can feel the disconnect even more. It isn't bad, though. It's less taxing than what he's used to... He isn't in quite the mood to talk with strangers around, so he keeps quiet for now as he looks for constellations. Fortunately for them, the other two notify that they'll afk for a bit and come back. That's when Joonghyuk continues their conversation. ]
The rendering is high quality. [ But does he prefer it? ] The real world can be this beautiful, too.
[ The night sky at home used to look like this, right? His world used to have stars that comforted them at night. What he feels is the comfort robbed from him for so many years. A tinge of regret manifests in his voice: ]
... I've always dreamed of a starless sky.
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[ he's just a shut-in, after all; he's never had the chance to explore much of the world, nor did he ever feel an inclination to try. rather, he's always been interested in things he can't reach or obtain; worlds he can't ever visit, aside from the times his eyes are glued to the screen. there's nothing wrong with that, he thinks, but it's a half-life.
only joining mankai had shown him that there's some benefit to opening up to other people, too - but it's a recent endeavor, and he's still hesitant. there's still a degree of disconnect between his words and his actions -- he wants to reach out, but at the end of the day, he's nothing more but a coward. ]
... why? [ starless skies are a norm, in big cities. something tells him joonghyuk doesn't mean that, though.
he glances towards the afk players, then back to the other, genuinely curious. ]
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... In my world, the Constellations are the fables we've been told. [ A pause, finding it ridiculous that he's doing this. A "none of your business" should have sufficed. ] Angels of Eden, gods of Olympus and Asgard, figures from Journey to the West, and more. They've ascended to be the very stars in our night's sky, always watching over the galaxy as a way to slake their boredom.
[ Though his tone is very much the same, never rising or dropping, each word seeps with pure disdain. There's another shade, something under all of that heaved contempt. It's agony. All of these intense emotions make a good recipe for vengeance to last him thousands of years. ]
For entertainment, they called for people to kill each other to survive and pushed worlds into ruin. To them, we're just puppets to feed them an interesting story.
[ And Joonghyuk doesn't think he needs to say that he was tangled in the whole mess. The implications point out he's one of the many victims. His fingers curl into fists on his lap as he glares at the fake stars above them. His frown deepens alongside his dark expression, recounting the scenarios and how Constellations influenced the system. They were always at a disadvantage no matter how strong they became. They climbed and climbed only to fall.
Closing his eyes, he tries to brush those bad thoughts away. Itaru asked a simple question, so he should give him a simple answer. ]
A starless sky, the permanent death of all those onlookers... [ Joonghyuk turns to him with a fierce look. ] It's a sign of liberation.
[ They would be free. As he ends his answers, he's reminded again that Itaru wouldn't understand. To him, Joonghyuk must sound like a madman cursing the stars, but he wonders if maybe his short story would benefit Itaru in some way. While he's not sure how it would, it comforts him. ]
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with that power usually comes carnage, though. abuse of it, ending with tragedy; if different worlds are real, that means the stories he's sometimes been so moved by might be real, too. he doesn't question joonghyuk's words, nor does he find them particularly weird or outlandish -- in that regard, at least, his mind remains open. and so, he listens; he doesn't interrupt, but instead observes and notes the slight changes in joonghyuk's voice and expression. it's obviously an emotional subject -- itaru can understand why.
he doesn't want to pry, but it's easy enough to assume joonghyuk was a victim of some higher power's whim. and while itaru can't exactly relate, he at least understands the powerlessness; pathetic in comparison, he couldn't even win a battle against himself, much less some sort of a fickle deity. ]
Do you think they're here, too? [ he asks, after a moment, glancing at joonghyuk, and then back to the stars. they twinkle uselessly, all in their pixel glory, and he reaches out towards the sky, palm splayed on the background of the night. ] You are free, as long as you don't go back. ... do you want to?
[ well, from what joonghyuk told him, he doubts it. ]
I'm not saying life here is super easy -- shit happens all the time, but... I don't think it's nearly as bad as you've had it before. Dunno if that's very comforting, but the chance to start anew... well, it's nice.
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The emotional wounds are merely scars of the past now, considering his world doesn't suffer under the < Star Stream >'s will any longer. Yet the scenes still play vividly in his mind every time he closes his eyes. As if reaffirming all his lives, he closes them shut again and the memories replay. ]
I don't need comfort or pity. [ There's calm in his voice again like the flames never existed. When the question about staying here comes, Joonghyuk doesn't need to think twice.] ... There's someone I still need to save.
[ That one idiot who understands him the most, alone somewhere in their universe. How could he abandon him? The people he loves are also there. How could he leave them? In the end, no matter how relatively peaceful and far away from his problems this place is, he knows he can't stay. For other people, this place may be better than anything they could ever have—he watches Itaru with curiosity. Maybe he can learn to understand him if only a little bit. ]
Is that what you're doing? Starting anew.
[ Does that mean Itaru wishes to stay? ]
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well, those are the lengths itaru can't afford to follow joonghyuk to. he can still listen to him, though; he's good at that, at least. ]
It's not pity. [ there's a difference between compassion and pity, he thinks. though, if he were to explain it, he'd probably lack the right words. it's not unlike joonghyuk to turn down comfort -- but it's not like itaru to give it in the first place, and it's not as if he thinks his words have particularly reached the other, anyway.
he glances at his hands, then back at joonghyuk, thoughtful. ]
Me? ... nah. My life's just recently begun, so I've got nothing to start anew. [ it's not as if he didn't exist before mankai, but... well, he might as well not have. with depression and extreme isolation came irrelevance -- he didn't matter to anybody and nobody mattered to him.
... he'd just lost the family he'd found. does he want to stay? this world offers him things he'd never thought he could see and do -- but it's all at a price. in the end, he misses his troupe, his friends, even his demon of a sister, really -- though admittedly, he's got less reasons to go back than joonghyuk does. ]
I've got nobody to save, but the people who saved me are still back home.
[ would he go back, given the chance? at this point in time, yeah, probably. ]
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[ So there shouldn't be a comparison at all. His character's iris rings glow brightly in the dark, pinned on Itaru's avatar the whole time. It shows that all of Joonghyuk's attention is on him, even if he finds his life to be insignificant compared to others. He's reading the shortest lines of Itaru's story, letting the orated words guide him on blank pages. In this moment, he mattered to at least one person. ]
What you have is enough.
[ While he doesn't say it, Itaru's reason resonates with him. He may have said he needs to save someone, but the people who saved him are back at home, too. Something swells in his chest—longing. He misses them... Though he shouldn't miss them for long. With all his heart, he knows he'll return. It only ever takes time.
They're waiting for him and Itaru's loved ones must be waiting for him as well. ]
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the truth is, displaying any sort of deeper emotion generally makes him pull back. but this is a game, and there's nowhere to run -- he takes a deep breath, and opens his mouth: ]
... thanks. I -- [ and in that moment, the afk party members return, waving them over and back to the campsite.
he glances at joonghyuk, and offers him a small smile, getting up and returning to the other players. ]
We aren't that far from the boss. A few more mob spawns and it should appear -- make sure you've got everything ready and let's finish this.
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Picking himself up onto his feet, he shows that he's ready and returns to the rest of the party. Their tank perks up, saying that they'll keep their advice in mind for the next pulls. It all goes rather well—a lot smoother than the first part of their trek. The boss comes down pretty swiftly as expected of the first dungeon in the game, too. The loot? Lackluster...
Except for this rather rare minion. It's more of a collectible and doesn't at all impact gameplay, but Joonghyuk instantly chooses to need on it instead of passing. He's a greedy player. ]
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low level equipment and a minion he already farmed because he's a completionist. he passes on everything and waits for the results -- joonghyuk gets the minion, the other players evidently more interested in the equipment than things that don't impact progression, and a gate to the outside appears. ]
Ready to go? [ he asks, to make sure.
who knows... maybe yjh wants to sightsee... ]
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[ Since he isn't a gpose type of player, there will be no casual stroll through the dungeon now that it's done. He's had enough of the scenery when they rested, so he's good to go. Despite the answer, he doesn't teleport right away. His avatar lingers by the portal, then turns to look at Itaru like he has something to say. While they both haven't spoken about that moment earlier, he hasn't forgotten. Home has been on his mind for a while. ]
I have other stuff to do.
[ Out of consideration, he decides not to broach now—sometimes, distance is healthy. It lets wounds heal. So this is the end of their gaming session. ]
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to be honest, he's been trying to avoid thinking about home. it makes something inside of his chest ache -- he'd rather not spend his days sulking about being unable to see his loved ones. still, it's something to consider; who knows when they'll be given the chance to go back? a decision has to be made before that, right?
once out of the game, he takes off the headset and grabs his phone, opening up their earlier conversation: ]
tyfp man
if ur interested in checking out the pvp, lmk
[ he doesn't expect a reply, but it's going to be there for joonghyuk to think about, at least. ]